Third Culture Kids

2005-11-03T19:02:00.000-08:00

I'm using a new avenue for my writtings about Third Culture Kids. As you know I'm hoping to be able to publish a book out of it based on Military Brats who are TCKs. It is no longer on blogger.com but can now be found at http://s14.invisionfree.com/ThirdCultureKids/index.php

Notes from Articles on TCKs by, Ruth Hill Useem

2005-10-30T15:48:00.000-08:00

These are my notes from the article, "TCKs: Focus of Major Study" by Ruth Hill Useem, which is Article 1 in a series of 5:

The term TCK was coined to refer to the children who accompany their parents into another society.
Ruth Hill Useem taught a course entitled, "The education of third culture kids".

These are my notes from the article, "TCKs Four Times More Likely to Earn Bachelor's Degrees" by Ruth Hill Useem, which is Article 2 in a series of 5:

The "sponsor" organization make a difference in the type of family life and schooling tat the dependant experiences abroad..
Though all TCKs experience the same expereience of a third culture, the their culture of a military base differes from that found on the mission field.
Overwhelming majority of TCKs are committed to continuing their education beyond high school graduation.
Many adult TCKs change colleges/majors many times or drop out in order to take advantages of opportunities that arrise.
Many feel that their overseas experience puts them ahead of their peers and teachers.
They often feel out of synch with their all-american-reared peers.
Most report mild to severe difficulties with re-entry problems or reverse culture shock.
TCKs don't ever adjust to American life, they adjust to it.
They adapt they find niches and they take risks. They fail and pick themselves up again.
They resist being encapsulated.
Their camouflaged exteriors and understated ways of presenting themselves hide the rich inner lives, remarkable talents, and often strongly held contradictory opinions on the world.
Most TCKs feel different from people who have not had an overseas experience.
Most keep up on happenings outside the U.S.
TCKs are creative and innovative, who have robust educational experiences.
They relate Americans to the rest of the world and interpret the outside world to the immediate world.

These are my notes from the article, "TCKs Experience Prolonged Adolescence" by Ruth Hill Useem and Anne Baker Cottrell, which is Article 3 in a series of 5:

In the U.S. you don't appear different so when you openly deviate from attitudes, opinions, ambitions or other from your others they don't see you as a crazy TCK but say you're nuts.
Being out of step with those around you is especialy noticeable and painful.
Many cannot make up their minds about what they want to do with their lives and experience prolonged adolescence.
As they meet new people they are slow to commit themselves until they have observed what is expected behavior.
Their bland and unremarkable exteriors belie not only the depths of feelings but of considerable talents an a wealth of memories of other countries and places in which they have lived in and continue to take interest in.
TCKs are extremely complex people who are weaving together their memories ina rapidly changing present for an uncertain future.
No two ATCKs come up with identical ways of putting their lives together.

These are my notes from the article, "ATCKs have problems relating to their own ethnic groups" by Ann Baker Cottrell, which is Article 4 in a series of 5:

ATCKs generally agree that their international backgrounds contribute postively to their adult lives.
ATCKS build on a foundation of international awareness.
They have more cross-cultural knowledge and skills than opportunity to use them.
They keep international touches to their homes and would love to visit the countries they have lived in.
ATCKs are helpers and problem solvers. They draw on their own experiences in new situations and to help others.
ATCKs feel different not isolated and are different from those who have not lived overseas.
ATCKs' international experiences make them appreciate much in the U.S. that Americans take for granted.
Sponsorship greatly influences the TCK experience.

These are my notes from the article, "ATCKs maintain global dimensions throughout their lives" by Ann Baker Cottrell and Ruth Hill Useem, which is article 5 in a series of 5:

Feelings of rootlessness and alienation, experience most severely during reentry, may last a life time.
What kinds of world views and attitudes do they have, what kinds of life choices do they make?
Continue a pattern of mobility and change.
Many are active in being volunteers.
Keep in contact with people from other countries.
Their child-rearing is in some ways influenced by having lived abroad.
ATCKs seek ways to introduce their offspring to the diversity of the world's people and cultures.
Teach a message of acceipting, respecting, and treasuring differences.
The TCK background surfaces in many who can move around the world easily if had the opportunity.
They enjoy meeting new people and new challenges.

The 9 Losses of My Life

2005-10-24T16:58:00.000-07:00

Loss of World: Every place (whether a country, a house, a playground), person (friends, role models, teachers), and everything (your culture is gone and replaced with a different one, everything changes).
Loss of Satus: My significance and being recognized for contributions.
Loss of Lifestyle: Daily living patterns and a sense of security
Loss of Possessions: Things that connect me to my past (also pets, belongings, things that couldn't be moved or had to be sold, things from the culture that I miss)
Loss of Relationships: constant come and go, hellos and goodbyes
Loss of Role Model: People I looked up to whom I learned the culture from and admired.
Loss of System Identity: ID cards and military priviledges.
Loss of the Past that Wasn't: I never picked up a foreign language fluently and had to move in the middle of my junior year of highschool. I didn't get to graduate with my friends.
Loss of the Past that Was: I cannot go and revisit my old homes, old schools, playgrounds, and places of my past. There are too many and they are all so far away from me and eachother.

Hidden Losses

2005-10-23T17:08:00.000-07:00

These are my notes from my TCK book. These are what jumped out of me as truth and what is real in my life:

Hidden Losses:

Unrecognized and unresolved grief
Intangible losses (sights, sounds, and smells) and tangible losses (friends, homes, posessions)
More than people experience in a lifetime and all before the age of 20.
Grief is related to loss
Hidden losses are reoccuring ones
Unresolved grief accumulates
No recognized way to mourn my nine losses
Each hidden loss relates to human need of belonging
Lack of permission to grieve
Lack of time to process

The Sub Culture

2005-10-20T15:20:00.000-07:00

If Third Culture Kids is the "third culture" than military brats are the sub culture. There are many other different sub cultures and each have differences and similarities to one another. Here is a little bit about my life as a military brat:

My father kept taking overseas assignments. Thus my family spent almost two decades in Europe. Every three years or so the military would send us "home" to the states to see family. Due to our short and few visits, my sister and I never really became very close to our grandfathers or uncles (we have a very small extended family). Going home, to my parents, was going back to the states to see their families. Going home, to my sister and I, was returning to where ever we were living at the time in Europe. Even though we weren't Italian, going home to Italy was more of a home to us than us being american and going home to the states. We didn't have a full ownership to Italy, though we didn't feel we had it in America either. Living on military bases was another culture in itself and a way of living that you can't describe with out having lived it.

When we did go to the states for our family vacations we would go some place like the grand canyon or disneyworld. But before we got on the plane to return to Europe, we would have to stop at the mall. Now, having been back to the states for several years, going to the mall doesn't thrill me the slightest. But shopping for clothes was either going off base, shopping on base, or through catalogs. More than likely no matter where we chose we ended up owning chothing items that our peers also had. You could look at someone and say, "Is that page 23 from that catalog?" Going to the american mall was like living the american dream. All that was left was going to a real american highschool (not just wondering what it would be like from american movies and television). Going to the teenage girl's mecca was quite mind blowing.

Born Raised and Trained

2005-10-19T15:13:00.000-07:00

There are many children serving in the "silent ranks", underneath their military serving parents. Born, raised, and trained; these brats uproot their lives sometimes every one to three years. Where their parents make teh chocie to serve their country in a branch of the military, the child is born into his or her role. I believe most brats are not only proud of their parent seving, but of the role they themselves serve to our country. There is a lot of responsibility on the shoulders of these children. The child's indescretions reflect right back to their parent. What happens to them goes straight up to the parent's chain of command. Depending on the consequence can affect the parent's future promotions. The military kid who is moved overseas faces even more responsibility. They now represent not only their family's name but they are an ambassador of their country. They live inside of a fish bowl where everything they do or don't say and do reflects right back to their country.

Thoughts on Moving

2005-10-18T15:02:00.000-07:00

Many people in America never move out of their state, let alone the country. Yet before I turned seventreen, I had lived on two different continents, in four different countries, and had attended over seven different schools. I have been asked numerous times how hard it is to move that often during one's childhood. Most times I find myself at a loss for words. How do I start to explain a part of my life that is as normal as breathing or eating. Moving every two to three years, sometimes short periods of time, was something I had been doing since I was born. It was not until I made the big move to the states, halfway through my eleventh grade year, that the realization hit me. The life I had lived compared to children of civilians was quite different. The sharp reality hit me out of the blue like a freight truck. I had moved so many times prior to the move "home". I havd moved to different cultures, languages, currency, rules, schools... I was living the life of a nomad and the the life of a camealian. But returning "home" to my parent's culture had turned my life upside down. I didn't even know what was happening to me until a couple years after we had made the big move. My parents and I were baffled to find out about TCKs. In the twenty plus years my dad spent overseas during his military career, no member of my family had come across this term in the military. Now granted TCKs, or the term really, came about in the fiftys, I believe. But even so, the missionary circle knows quite a lot about TCKs. When I heard about it for the first time, I was overwhelmed. I had finaly found the answer to the question I didn't know I was asking. I knew who I was, where I belonged. To a culture of people, who came from many different cultures, countries, and continents. But together we all held the same sense of belonging.

2005-10-17T17:34:00.000-07:00

This is a map from Stuttgart. I am really blessed to have parents that had enough trust in me to let me use the public transportation system in Germany when I was in 7th grade. Most of the other kids my age were not allowed to use it by themselves or with out an adult. Many parents couldn't understand why my parents would do this. But you know, when you get the chance to live overseas, you shouldn't stay on the base 24/7. Get out and explore!

Publisher's are Calling

2005-10-05T16:22:00.000-07:00

I recently looked up a publishing company that works through amazon.com. I just looked it up to see how it would be to publish my manuscript, when it is finished. Well I got a call from them a couple of weeks ago and an email. Today I got another call. She is going to call again in five months to see how it is going. I don't know if I will be finished in five months, but that could be my goal.

Poster Idea

2005-09-29T12:02:00.000-07:00

This is the flyer template I made today. I really need to start a group here. My goal would be to get it sponsered by Army Community Services. Which would make it really easy to have posters available all over. My goal after that is to start this up at every base we move to. I'm hoping that will get the military to take a bigger role in the lives of TCKs and the importance of having a group like this available. So what do you think of the poster?

Back on Track

2005-09-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

My husband helped me last night with writting out an outline for my manuscript (yes thats what I'm calling it now). The biggest road block was wondering how to write it. I know I have something to share, I was just not sure what people would want to read. What do they want to know about a military brat who is a third culture kid as well? Thats where my husband stepped in and gave me some feedback. So now inbetween taking care of my son and doing my daily routine, I will try to write. Hopefully I can finish my manuscript soon so that can go on to the publishing process. I am thinking of self publishing with a company I found online through amazon.com. We'll see though. I want to finish the book before I write Oprah. Seems to me, having a book out might help my chances. Then if I can get on her show, I will definitly be able to bring awareness to third culture kids in the military circle!

Oprah

2005-08-31T22:51:00.000-07:00

I am going to find time tommrow to write Oprah and see about a show idea on Third Culture Kids: this issue needs to be addressed in the military circles!

A mother of a future TCK?

2005-08-22T10:12:00.000-07:00

I have realized (and hoping) that my son will get to be a TCK, like me. It looks like we may have the chance to live overseas. If we do and Ronan is still young and in his developmental years, he will. It will be interesting to see how this effects him. Especially since Ryan and I will not be going into the situation unknowingly and blindly like my parents. We know what a tck is and the ups and downs. I hope to use the knowledge we have (and keep learning!) to help Ronan achieve all he can in life. I believe TCKs have something different and special to offer the world. I also would love to live life outside the US. I know one place we could move to, is Hawaii. Though it is "American soil", I have heard how rich and beautiful the culture is there. Who knows, we may find ourselves in Japan or maybe Europe one day! One can only hope and pray to God.

Awareness

2005-08-19T15:00:00.000-07:00

I went to a family member training session here on the army base. It is like a 'welcome to the military life' sort of class. They have different instructors teaching different classes. One was on children and schools. This is an important issue, because in the military you are moving all the time. But I was sad to know, the military still doesn't know about TCKs. Which I know, not every child in a military family is one....but there are quite a lot of children who are. So I'm thinking about forming a group. I wouldn't mind having it for anyone who is a TCK...but I'd rather it be a informational group for parents of TCKS, before they exist.

2005-06-15T11:42:00.000-07:00

I really liked being able to travel a lot as a child. If you are growing up in Europe, it would be a shame to not get out and see the sites and experience the culture. I know there were some families afraid to leave the base. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you are blessed with the opportunity to live somewhere else in your life, then get out and explore!

The Military Challenge Coin

2005-06-14T08:13:00.000-07:00

This is a military challenge coin that was made to be presented to military brats. I like what words they chose to represent the life of a military kid: Adaptable, Bold, Responsible, and Tolerant. I do not own this one, but I honored with a military coin by the military when my father retired from the USAF. I keep it with me as a very special and treasured relic.

What is the history behind the challenge coins?
"During World War I, American volunteers from all parts of the country filled the newly formed flying squadrons. Some were wealthy scions attending colleges such as Yale and Harvard who quit in midterm to join the war. In one squadron, a wealthy lieutenant ordered medallions struck in solid bronze carrying the squadron emblem for every member of his squadron. He himself carried his medallion in a small leather sack about his neck. Shortly after acquiring the medallions, this pilot's aircraft was severely damaged by ground fire. He was forced to land behind enemy lines and was immediately captured by a German Patrol. In order to discourage his escape, the Germans took all of his personal identification except for the small leather pouch around his neck. In the meantime, he was taken to a small French town near the front. Taking advantage of a bombardment that night he donned civilian clothes and escaped. However, he was without personal identification. He succeeded in avoiding German patrols and reached the front lines. With great difficulty, he crossed no-man's land. Eventually, he stumbled into a French outpost. Unfortunately, the French in this sector of the front had been plagued by saboteurs. They sometimes masqueraded as civilians and wore civilian clothes. Not recognizing the young pilot's American accent, the French thought him to be a saboteur and made ready to execute him. Just in time, he remembered his leather pouch containing the medallion. He showed the medallion to his would-be executioners. His French captors recognized the squadron insignia on the medallion and delayed long enough for him to confirm his identity. Instead of shooting him, they gave him a bottle of wine. Back with his squadron, it became a tradition to ensure that all members carried their medallion or coin at all times. This was accomplished through a challenge in the following manner, a challenger would ask to see the coin, If the challenger could not produce his coin, he was required to purchase a drink of choice for the member who had challenged him. If the challenged member produced his coin, then the challenging member was required to pay for the drink. This tradition continued throughout the war and for many years after while surviving members of the squadron were still alive."

What are the rules and customs of the challenge coin?
"Once endowed with possession of the Coin, these rules and customs bind you. Not complying with these long standing customs or any deviance from these rules will bring great disgrace and loss of respect to one's self and may be grounds for revocation of all Dawg titles and privileges.
The Coin must never be defaced or purposely damaged in any way. (Cannot be drilled for a necklace, key chain, etc.)
The Coin shall always be carried on one's person. Carried on one's person is defined by in one's pocket, sock, shoe or other garment that is on one's body. It shall not be carried in one's wallet, purse, or European carryall.
Carrying one's Coin in the shower is a sign of great respect, but is not required.
Any Dawg in good standing can initiate a Coin Check. The visible display of the Coin constitutes a Coin check. When a check occurs, all Coin holders will visibly present their Coin. Any Coin holder that cannot produce their Coin when checked, is then required to buy a round of drinks for the Coin holding group. If all Dawgs produce their Coins, then the person who initiated the check must purchase the round of drinks.
The holder of the Coin shall announce to all present they are producing the Coin for public display. Any display of the Coin without a verifiable announcement will constitute a Coin Check.
If one drops the Coin, it also constitutes an immediate Coin check for all those present.
If a person is Coin checked and produces the wrong/lesser Coin (anything other than a Wire Dawg Coin), the bearer must immediately purchase a round of drinks.
If the Coin is ever lost or misplaced, that person is still open to be checked at any time.
No one should carry more than one Coin at a time. Also, no one should own more than one Coin, unless stock is properly displayed paying the highest level of respect to the Coin. Merely stockpiling of Coins is disrespectful and held in the lowest regard.
The Wire Dawg Coin shall not be sold or bestowed upon non-Dawg personnel without the approval of the three Senior Wire Dawgs in your section. Drinks may be hard or soft or a mix of both. All dawgs who refrain from consuming hard drinks are by no means excluded from the age-old customs of the Coin and shall not be looked upon with disrespect."

Celebrating American holidays Overseas

2005-06-13T12:10:00.000-07:00

My family had just moved to Naples, Italy from England shortly before this photo was taken. We were living at the hotel where all the military families stay when they are moving to or from Naples. We went to the NEX and Zoe picked out a ready-to-wear Ragedy Anne costume and I picked out some accessories to go with what I already owned, so I could be a cat. I remember another military couple in the elevator asking me if I was 'cat woman'. This year we received the most candy ever from Halloween. Being stationed overseas, you may not think that would be possible. We went trick or treating through out the hotel and then we went trick or treating at the 'towers' where many military families lived. Though we were not on US soil, it didn't mean Halloween was cancelled for the children. This is one reason I really enjoyed my childhood of being a military brat. The camaraderie that is displayed between all the military families and personal on base. I am really happy my parents helped intergrate us into the local culture, instead of being on base 24/7. But also having that feeling of family and pride of our country among other Americans was a huge blessing to me. We were all living a kind of life, many people don't experience. So going through it together was really special.

The Military Brat's Friendships

2005-06-13T11:57:00.000-07:00

When I was around 3 yrs. old we moved from England to Sumter, SC. This is the first house that was my home in the states. As you can tell, I took up tap and ballet. I don't have very many memories from here during the brief 2 years we lived here. My childhood in the states was brief. So many memories have been captured into photographs. I am posing with two girls from church. In 'normal' circumstances, I might have grown up with these girls and gone to school with them. We would have had so many stories to share about our experiences of growing up in this town. The life of a military brat is much different. You make friendships that last sometimes only while you are both living in the same place at the same time. When you move you accept the fact that you may never meet again and that you will have to make new friends and start a new chapter of your story with them. Though it may seem like a hard way to grow up...I woudn't change my childhood for the world.

The role of a military kid (MK)

2005-05-28T10:06:00.000-07:00

I hold high esteem towards the men and women who make the decision to join the US Armed Forces. What an important one to make at that. You are dedicating your life for a certain time of your life to serve your country. When they put on their uniform everyday they are showing the pride and dedication they hold towards America.

Military children, also know as Military Brats, are the dependents of those serving in the military. You don't choose to be a MK (military kid), but are born into a military family. When your parent, or parents, get an assignment, you do not have an opinion in the matter. You get to have your room packed up for the umpteenth time and have to say goodbye to your current friends, town, and home. I admit it may sound like a rough way to grow up with all the uprooting and changes that you are faced with.

When we would visit the states every 2-3 years, I would be asked the same sort of question by civilians. Though worded differently, it usually consisted of asking me how hard it was to move around so frequently. The normal reply would be to shrug and say that I was used to it. It was not something I hated doing and it was not an easy thing either. The inital reaction to hearing we are moving again is usually the same. My parents would sit my sister and I down and let us know that we were moving and where we were moving to. We would have mixed reactions at first. Excitement for the new place we were going to and sadness for having to leave the home we had. But I believe the military has been very good and helping families with the moving process and being able to interegrate into their new surrondings. My parents were very adment in the fact that we should not be confined soley to the base either. Most of the times we lived off base, we did a lot of shopping and traveling in the new culture, went to church off base, and I even had the chance of going to a british school once. It was important to my family that we got to know the country, the culture, and the people.

The role of being a MK is an important one. The way we act and the things we say or do, reflect straight on to our parent/s in uniform, the military, and our country. I have heard about several of my peers growing up who had a hard time adjusting or living outside the US. The actions they made went straight to their parent's superior. Depending on the severity of what they did and how many times it has been addressed, the family could be sent straight back to the states. Aside from that, everyone looks at you when you are a foriegner in another country. It is one thing to be proud of your country and it is another to stand out as one. One of my pet peeves, is a person who is a loud and obnoxious american in the host culture.

With that said, I don't believe the military has addressed the term of Third Culture Kids, or how it effects the TCKS and their families when they move back to the states. I hope that this can be a problem that can be resolved with a solution in the near future.

Why is it important?

2005-05-28T09:52:00.000-07:00

Why is it important, to me, to share my experiences of being a military kid and TCK? Simply because if someone had told me about being a TCK and how it would affect my move to the states, I would have had a completely different experience re-entering my parent's home culture. I believe in my heart that God has given me certain struggles and revelations so that I can help others. If I can make others aware about the high importance of TCKs than I can have the knowledge knowing others will not have to face the loss of self and confusion that I have struggled with. If you knew information that could help someone else, would you want to step out of the shadows and help? My hope is that I can make a difference.

Looking Cute!

2005-04-21T14:20:00.000-07:00

Here is a photo of me and my Daddy! (I was a lot shorter back then...) We are both wearing his hat for work. I believe this was taken in England.

How I learned about TCK

2005-04-11T14:02:00.000-07:00

I was at a missions forum with my husband and we had spit up so we could go to different sessions. I went to one on growing up on the mission field and it was lead by a former missionary kid (MK). She started talking about her life and about the term TCK and her reactions to moving to the US. When she was finished I was doing all I could to hold back the tears. I went straight up to her and talked to her about her lecture. I told her how, finally it clicked and I felt like I knew who I was. She gave me a lot of comfort and information on TCK. From there I practically ran to find my husband so that I could share with him this revelation of my life to him. I cannot remember if tears finally were shed at this moment or not. But there was definitly a release of emotion felt. I just let it all out and shared to him everything and he could just see how happy I was with this information.

It is kinda hard to explain unless you have gone through the same sort of experience, whether you are a TCK or not. It was like going through life thinking I knew who I was, though I never really belonged to a country or culture fully. I never fully felt excepted by an country or culture. Moving back to the states I felt isolated, alone, and as if I was a 'nobody from nowhere'. Now all of a sudden there is a spotlight on me and I can see clearly. I know who I am and I belong somewhere, even if it is not a 'place' per se but belonging to a small group of people. It was a termendous weight lifted from my shoulders. Even though I still had a lot of emotional baggage and looking at my life to do, I felt I finally had a sense of direction to go from.

This was the beginning of my journey as a TCK.

How I got TCK status

2005-04-06T15:43:00.000-07:00

It all began with my birth. I was born in England to American parents who were on their second overseas assignment with the USAF. My father continued to choose overseas assignments in Europe, and I (along with my sister who came along 5.5 years later) grew up in many different cultures and countries.

Here is a brief overview
(it does not include moves within the same country/assignment):

Born in Oxfordshire, England, UK
Lived in Sumter, SC
Lived in Montgomery, AL
Lived in Lakenheath, England
Lived in Napoli, Italia (3 yrs)
Lived in Stuttgart, Germany (2 yrs)
Lived in Napoli, Italia (2.5 yrs)
Lived in Tucson, AZ (1.5 yrs)
Went to University in Searcy, AR (3.5 yrs)

What is a TCK

2005-04-05T23:29:00.000-07:00

I got these definitions from the Taylor Uni website. I thought it was also important to share the MK definiton as well:

MK / TCK Definitions

Missionary Kid (MK) = The son or daughter of missionaries. MK is the term that is perhaps most well known simply because there are a lot of MKs, particularly at Taylor.

Third Culture Kid (TCK) = "A person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside their parents' culture. The TCK builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having ownership in any. Although the elements from each culture are assimilated into the TCK's life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background." (David Pollack)

Why third? The third culture is created as a result of the combination of the parents' culture and the culture in which the student lives. Eg. An American student who has spent a significant part of their formative years in Malaysia is called a TCK because the mixture of his/her American culture and the Malaysian culture creates a third culture.

A TCK can be any student whose parents work or have worked in international business, politics, education or military service.